Dear Friend 

As I write this letter we are in the midst of wonderful activities here at FOTF, one being an annual event which has become know as Vision Africa, where we welcome friends from the USA, UK and South Africa to thank them for their support over the years and to show them the impact Focus on the Family is making throughout Africa.

Part of the festivities included the official opening of Esther House, our second foster care home. John Bethany, Senior Director of International Relations at Focus in the US was the key note speaker for the occasion and also cut the ribbon on the door of Esther House. The guest list for this function represented, overseas and local guests, churches, schools, businesses, social workers and the media. Our guests were blessed as the families from Joseph House and Esther House stood together and sang a song of Praise to the Lord.

The next day, Focus hosted a very successful Heart of Success breakfast in Durban. The Cape Town seminar followed on Monday the 30th and Kampala, Uganda will host the seminar in May. Rob Parsons international speaker, author and Executive Director of Care for the Family in the UK had the audiences captivated as he spoke of how to make it in business without losing in life.

Finally, we thank God that the ministry of Focus on the Family continues to increase its impact on families through our outreach programmes, seminars, radio broadcasts, trustworthy resources, the Focus website and our counselling and correspondence departments, not forgetting our new Focus on iThemba foster care initiative.

Below you will find a Question and Answer excerpt by Dr Dobson.

Please click here to find out what exciting radio programmes will be broadcast during the month of May. To find out which stations in your area broadcast our programmes, please click here.

Sincerely

Danie van den Heever
Executive Chairman

QUESTION: My son certainly fits your definition of the "strong-willed child." But tell me how to get him through these tough years. He is tough as nails. What specific suggestions do you have for us?

DR. DOBSON: Here is a summary of some approaches or ideas that I think are important:

1. You should not blame yourself for the temperament with which your child was born. He (or she) is simply a tough kid to handle and your task is to rise to the challenge.
   
2. He is in greater danger because of his inclination to test the limits and scale the walls. Your utmost diligence and wisdom will be required to deal with him.
   
3. If you fail to understand his lust for power and independence, you can exhaust your resources and bog down in guilt. It will benefit no one.
   
4. For parents who have just begun, take charge of your babies. Hold tightly to the reins of authority in the early days, and build an attitude of respect during your brief window of opportunity. You will need every ounce of "awe" you can get during the years to come. Once you have established your right to lead, begin to let go systematically, year by year.
   
5. Don't panic, even during the storms of adolescence. Better times are ahead.
   
6. Don’t let your son get too far from you emotionally. Stay in touch. Don’t write him off, even when every impulse is to do just that. He needs you now more than ever before.
   
7. Give him time to find himself, even if he appears not to be searching.
   
8. Most importantly, I urge you to hold your children before the Lord in fervent prayer throughout their years at home. I am convinced that there is no other source of confidence and wisdom in parenting. There is not enough knowledge in the books, mine or anyone else's, to counteract the evil that surrounds our kids today. Teenagers are confronted by drugs, alcohol, sex and foul language wherever they turn. And, of course, the peer pressure on them is enormous. We must bathe them in prayer every day of their lives. The God who made your children will hear your petitions. He has promised to do so. After all, He loves them more than you do.

And a concluding word: remember that anyone can raise the easy kid. Guiding a strong-willed child through the rebellious years takes a pro with a lot of love to give. I’ll bet you’re up to the task!

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