Dear Friend
It feels so strange to be writing the December Newsletter. It seems like only a short time ago I was wishing you a happy new year, and now the year is drawing to a close.
Our Christmas Catalogue has had a great response and I encourage you to make use of it as you go about your Christmas shopping. To view the catalogue online please
click
here.
I would also like to alert you to the fact that our bookroom will be open on certain Saturdays during the month of December, namely the 2nd and 9th of December. So if you’re in the area please come and visit us at 333 Fischer Rd, Hillcrest.
Click here
to view a map.
Our offices will be closed from the 23 December 2006
until the 1st January 2007.
As
usual you will find below a Question and Answer
excerpt by Dr Dobson.
Please click
here to find out what exciting radio programmes will be broadcast during the
month of December. To find out which stations in your area broadcast our
programmes, please click here.
From all the staff at Focus on the Family we would like to wish you a Merry Christmas. We trust that you and your family will experience God’s richest blessings this festive season.
Sincerely
Danie van den Heever
Executive Chairman
QUESTION: Do
childhood traumas inevitably twist and warp a
person in the adult years?
DR. DOBSON: No.
It is well known that difficult childhoods leave
some people wounded and disadvantaged, but for
others, they fuel great achievement and success.
The difference appears to be a function of
individual temperaments and resourcefulness.
In a classic study called "Cradles of
Eminence," Victor and Mildred Goertzel
investigated the home backgrounds of 400 highly
successful people. The researchers sought to
identify the early experiences that may have
contributed to remarkable achievement. All of the
subjects were well known for their
accomplishments; they included Einstein, Freud,
Churchill, and many others.
The backgrounds of these people proved very
interesting. Three fourths of them came from
troubled childhoods, enduring poverty, broken
homes, or parental abuse. One fourth had physical
handicaps. Most of those who became writers and
playwrights had watched their own parents
embroiled in psychological dramas of one sort or
another. The researchers concluded that the need
to compensate for disadvantages was a major factor
in the drive toward personal achievement. One of
the best illustrations of this phenomenon is seen
in the life of Eleanor Roosevelt, the former First
Lady. Being orphaned at ten, she underwent a
childhood of utter anguish. She was very homely
and never felt she really belonged to anybody.
According to Victor Wilson, Newhouse News Service,
"She was a rather humorless introvert, a
young woman unbelievably shy, unable to overcome
her personal insecurity and with a conviction of
her own inadequacy." The world knows,
however, that Mrs. Roosevelt rose above her
emotional shackles. As Wilson said,"...from
some inner wellspring, Mrs. Roosevelt summoned a
tough, unyielding courage, tempered by remarkable
self control and self discipline..." That
"inner wellspring" has another
appropriate name: compensation!
Obviously, one's attitude toward a handicap
determines its impact on his or her life. It has
become popular to blame adverse circumstances for
irresponsible behavior; i.e., poverty causes
crime, broken homes produce juvenile delinquents,
a sick society imposes drug addiction on its
youth. There is some truth in this assumption,
since people in those difficult circumstances are
more likely to behave in destructive ways. But
they are not forced to do so. To say that adverse
conditions "cause" irresponsible
behavior is to remove all responsibility from the
shoulders of the individual. The excuse is hollow.
We must each decide what we will do with inner
doubt or outer hardship.
The application to an individual family should
be obvious. If a child has gone through a
traumatic experience or is physically
disadvantaged, his or her parents need not give up
hope. They should identify his or her strengths
and natural abilities which can be used to
overcome the hurdle. The problem that seems so
formidable today may become the inspiration for
greatness tomorrow.
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