Youth :
A Murky Mystery Called Love
by S. Bennett
Love got you confused? Get some real truth.
THE ISSUE
Just mention the word love and some guys encounter (a) strange (yet cool) tingly
sensations that race through their insides or (b) extreme intestinal distress
which sends their legs racing to the nearest restroom. But get this: Many guys
experience BOTH responses at the same time. So, what's true love all about?
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS
"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this
way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day
of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The
one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:16-18).
WHAT CHRISTIANS BELIEVE
The word love has a multitude of meanings. You might say: "I love Dad
and Mom," "I love Cheez Whiz," "I love my brother,"
or "I love getting good grades in school." Love means something different
in each case.
The people of ancient Greece didn't leave as much room for confusion as we
do. They used different words to describe the various kinds of love.
'Phileo' (fil-EH-o), which means friendship love, is one of them. It's the
brotherly affection that basketball buddies experience, or the camaraderie you
have with your best pal down the street. Did you know that Philadelphia is known
as the "City of Brotherly Love?" Guess where that name came from,
that's right, the Greeks! Friendship is great, going places together, helping
each other out with problems, playing sports, sharing burgers and ideas, it's
a very special gift from God.
Another Greek word for love is "storge" (STOR-gay). It describes
the love between parents and children. It's the kind of family affection and
loyalty that's built in from birth.
By now you may be wondering about the type of soap opera, "90210,"
"Central Park West" love that Hollywood is preoccupied with. You know,
the boy meets girl/boy pursues girl/boy gets girl sort of scenario. The Greeks
called this romantic love "eros" (EHR-ohs). Eros is the sexual attraction
between a man and a woman. Eros is good! God designed the attraction between
a man and a woman ON PURPOSE! But the beauty of eros can only be truly experienced
through a lifelong commitment, called marriage. Experimenting with eros outside
of marriage is just regular old lust, and that's a sin, and it'll get you into
trouble fast.
Okay. Breathe deep. It's okay. It's normal for you to feel attracted to girls.
But recognize what those feelings are. They're not love. True love isn't a feeling
or an attraction. It's not a deep, all-consuming desire to have or to possess
another person, or a fiery, flirty feeling to be with them every minute. That
reckless, passionate, burning desire is called lust. And what's the difference?
Love is giving and sharing; a self-sacrificing bond of trust and dedication
to another person. Lust wants something for itself no matter what the cost.
If you love someone, you'll want what's best for that person and you'll put
his or her good before your own. If you lust after somebody, you'll spend more
time figuring out how you can push her to do more physically than she wants.
Lust never satisfies. It only wants more and more and more.
Love, on the other hand, truly satisfies. Love is the opposite of selfishness.
It seeks to give rather than get. It's the deep-down longing to be totally understood
and accepted by another, and to understand and care for that other person.
This kind of love is hard to find, nearly impossible unless you're already
tapped into the source, and that's God Himself. In fact, He's the one who thought
up love in the first place. Until you know His love, it's impossible to give
true love or even receive it. God's love is so much stronger, and better and
greater than human love that the ancient Greeks had a whole other word for it.
They called it "agape" (a-GOP-eh). Agape is the only perfect love.
It's the love that comes from above. It's God's love, and it's amazing.
TUNING IN TRUE LOVE
When the other expressions of love fade away, God's love continues. His is
the only kind of love that lasts forever. While friends may offer you love if
you do what they want or because you're such a nice guy, God's love is there
for you in spite of your faults, failures, mistakes or poor performance.
The love tank in our hearts is deep, and only God's love can fill it. Trying
to fill your heart with eros to satisfy is a little like filling up a swimming
pool with used motor oil instead of pure water. You'll get nowhere and feel
disgusting. You've got to fill the pool with what it needs, and that's God's
awesome agape.
So, have you come to grips with the concept of love? Hopefully so. But even
if you haven't, try to remember this rule that works for school and love . .
. don't ever go for less than an "A."
S. Bennett lives in Asbury Park, N.J.
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